TÚ or USTED? I ask Spanish people on the streets

15 min video

When should you use tú and when is usted more appropriate? Lucía asks people in Spain, giving you real examples of how speakers think about formality.

Watch the lesson

Try it yourself

Listen for the situations people mention. Make two mini dialogues: one informal and one more formal. Read both aloud and choose the pronoun that fits each.

Watch the original lesson on YouTube.

Read along with the street interview

This chaptered, edited reading companion follows the whole interview, with selected Spanish excerpts, English meanings and summaries of the longer answers. It condenses repetition while retaining the speakers’ different views and jokes. The choices below belong to these respondents; they help you notice context rather than memorise one answer for every situation.

• 0:00–0:43 — Lucía’s question
• 0:43–1:02 — How do you prefer to be addressed?
• 1:02–3:34 — What do people normally use?
• 3:34–5:55 — When do respondents choose usted?
• 5:55–6:59 — When do respondents choose tú?
• 6:59–8:00 — Do people address them as usted?
• 8:00–9:45 — How does usted feel?
• 9:45–10:32 — What if a stranger uses tú?
• 10:32–14:53 — The situation questionnaire
• 14:53–15:09 — Lucía’s closing reflection

0:00–0:43 — Lucía’s question

Lucía opens by asking whether you ever feel confused about when to use tú and usted. She personally dislikes being addressed as usted: it makes her a little uncomfortable. She has used it with some older people, but generally uses tú with everyone. Now she wants to find out what other people in Spain do and how the choice affects their impressions of you.

Her quick review introduces tú as the informal “you” and usted as the more formal form, associated with respect and distance. The interviews show why that useful starting point needs context.

0:43–1:02 — How do you prefer to be addressed?

¿Cómo le gusta que la traten, de tú o de usted? — How do you prefer people to address you: with tú or usted?

Several respondents immediately choose tú. Another says it depends on who is speaking, and tells Lucía that she would love her to use tú. When Lucía checks how to address the young men during the interview, their answer is also tú.

• Yo prefiero que me traten de tú.I prefer people to address me with tú.
• Me gusta dependiendo de la persona.My preference depends on the person.

1:02–3:34 — What do people normally use?

¿Sueles tutear o tratar de usted a la gente? — Do you normally use tú or usted with people?

One woman uses tú with people she knows, but starts with usted when an older person is unfamiliar. Sometimes that person immediately asks her to switch, joking that usted makes them seem old. Another usually uses tú, but chooses usted for someone around her parents’ age. The younger women favour tú, while adding that it depends on the person. The woman in yellow also stresses the person’s age, closeness, background and manner of approaching her; she describes her own experience rather than a rule for everybody.

• ¡Ay, háblame de tú!Oh, use tú with me!

The young men introduce an Andalusian plural habit. One normally uses tú, but addresses his group of friends as ustedes. He explains that their local expression is ustedes sois, rather than ustedes son. Lucía points out that this is an informal use. His friend similarly uses informal ustedes with people his age, but prefers to begin with singular usted for people roughly forty or older. Those age thresholds are his personal choices.

Regional grammar note: Informal plural ustedes is used in western Andalusia, the Canary Islands and the Americas. The combination ustedes sois heard here is a local Andalusian pattern. In standard agreement, practise ustedes son; with vosotros, use vosotros sois. Recognising the local form helps you understand these speakers. RAE/ASALE: usted; University of Seville: Andalusian grammar.

The older man says the person, circumstances and moment matter. He may use usted with someone his own age whom he does not know, or with a much younger stranger. He also mentions addressing people “in the third person.”

Grammar note: His last comment does not include a model sentence. For the normal usted construction, remember that you are addressing “you,” but the verb takes third-person agreement: usted habla. Leaving the pronoun unspoken does not remove that agreement.

3:34–5:55 — When do respondents choose usted?

¿Con qué tipo de personas usa usted? — With what kinds of people do you use usted?

One woman chooses it when she wants distance or is unsure whether immediate tú could bother the other person. With foreigners, she considers whether their own country might expect a formal greeting. This is her considerate approach, not a claim that every foreigner expects usted.

Another thinks about people from an older generation who feel more comfortable with usted. Her parents even used it with their own parents, so she tries to respect that preference. The younger women mention teachers, older people and strangers in the street. The woman in yellow mentions unfamiliar older people.

The young men use usted formally with older strangers or some teachers, but switch to tú with teachers they feel close to. Two women explain that maintaining distance can matter more than age: they want respect and boundaries.

• Con las personas que sé que les resulta más cómodo.With people whom I know feel more comfortable with it.
• Mis padres trataban de usted a sus propios padres.My parents addressed their own parents with usted.
• Yo, personalmente, con la que quiero guardar una distancia.Personally, with someone from whom I want to keep a distance.

The older man returns to context: the person, moment and manners help him choose. In his view, younger students are not taught enough about this distinction. He feels that when a teacher offers closeness to encourage learning, some students mistake that openness for freedom to overstep. This is his criticism of educational manners, rather than a universal judgement about young speakers.

5:55–6:59 — When do respondents choose tú?

¿Con qué personas usas tú? — With whom do you use tú?

One woman says almost everyone: younger people and most people she knows. She used tú with her mother and grandmother, but usted with her mother-in-law. With an older stranger, she may begin formally, keep that distance if it is wanted, or switch when invited.

Another uses tú with younger people, people around her age, and people who prefer it or even feel offended by usted. The younger women say people their age. The woman in yellow stresses that tú can be used very politely: how it is said matters. The young men use it with parents, friends and almost everyone else. The final pair say everyone.

• Con casi todo el mundo uso tú.I use tú with almost everyone.
• Depende de cómo se diga el tú.It depends on how tú is said.

6:59–8:00 — Do people address them as usted?

¿Os suelen tratar de usted? — Do people usually address you with usted?

One woman is usually addressed as tú and tells anyone who uses usted, “Use tú; I’m not that old!” The younger women say it rarely happens, though a teacher may use señorita. The woman in yellow says she normally receives usted.

The young men rarely hear it face to face. They associate it with more traditional or older university teachers, sometimes in email, even when the student is twenty. The other two women hear it occasionally; one feels that usted is becoming less common.

At 7:51, Lucía reminds you about My Daily Spanish’s free study guide, with a step-by-step process to help you learn Spanish faster. You can find the guide through the links on this page.

8:00–9:45 — How does usted feel?

¿Y a ti te gusta que te traten de usted? — And do you like being addressed with usted?

One woman accepts it when she wants distance. She may use it with a serious older boss, someone who might disrespect her, or a doctor. She feels that some professions invite more formal treatment. Lucía says she prefers tú, because usted makes her feel older. The younger women do not particularly like it and say it makes them feel old.

The young men are comfortable with it when the context calls for it, such as speaking with an unfamiliar university professor. Receiving usted in return feels like reciprocal respect. With someone they hope to befriend, they may prefer it only at the beginning, then use something closer. The other women prefer tú; one actively invites the switch.

• Si no te importa, háblame de tú.If you don’t mind, use tú with me.

The older man likes usted in some circumstances but does not insist on the word itself. He again mentions speaking in the third person, and says what matters to him is a degree of distance between speaker and listener.

9:45–10:32 — What if a stranger uses tú?

Si alguien que no conoces te tutea, ¿qué sientes? — If someone you don’t know uses tú with you, how do you feel?

One woman feels fine: it suggests familiarity and the chance to get to know each other. Another feels normal and is more surprised by usted than by tú. The younger women also find it normal. The final pair see no problem unless the person is actually trying to offend them. As they put it, disrespect is a separate issue from the pronoun.

• La falta de respeto no tiene nada que ver con el tú; es otra cosa.Disrespect has nothing to do with tú; it is something else.

At 10:22, Lucía asks you to give the video a thumbs-up if you enjoyed it: ¡Gracias! She then explains the situation questionnaire: she names a situation, and people say whether they would use tú or usted.

10:32–14:53 — The situation questionnaire

These are the interviewees’ choices, with their reasons. They show variation; they are not a quiz with one compulsory answer.

10:32 — A shop assistant

¿Le hablarías de usted a un dependiente de una tienda? — Would you use usted with a shop assistant?

One woman might, unless the assistant is very young; another says no. One young man would use it with an older assistant but personally would not use it with someone forty or younger. One woman connects it with respecting an older person who is doing their job. Her companion differs, while they acknowledge that a young assistant may be treated differently.

11:04 — The King

¿Usarías usted si tratas al rey? — Would you use usted when addressing the King?

One woman jokes about Su Majestad and a “super usted.” The young men say yes because of the position and what they understand as protocol, even though one says he does not particularly like the King. Another woman supposes she would, but has never been in that situation; if he used tú with her, she says she would answer with tú.

11:33 — Your grandmother, or somebody else’s

¿Le hablarías de usted a tu abuela? — Would you use usted with your grandmother?

One woman has always used tú. Another jokes that she would need a medium to speak to her grandmother; the imagined encounter would be a little scary, so she jokes about using usted. Asked what she used as a child, she answers tú. One woman says her mother addressed her own mother as usted, while she herself used tú with her grandmother.

¿Le hablarías de usted a la abuela de otra persona? — Would you use usted with someone else’s grandmother?

One respondent starts with usted, then changes if invited: the grandmother may say that tú makes her feel younger. Another normally uses tú.

12:14 — Your boss

¿A tu jefe o jefa le hablarías de usted? — Would you use usted with your boss?

Some begin with usted, then switch to tú when there is trust or a relationship beyond basic cordiality. Another immediately chooses tú. One woman no longer has a boss; she used tú with her former bosses because they were colleagues.

12:38 — Your daughter’s fifteen-year-old friend

¿Le hablarías de usted a la amiga de tu hija que tiene quince años? — Would you use usted with your daughter’s fifteen-year-old friend?

The answers here are tú, not usted.

12:44 — A classmate

¿Le hablarías de usted a tu compañero de clase? — Would you use usted with a classmate?

The usual answer is tú. One young man imagines an exception: if most university students are about twenty but a classmate is fifty or sixty, he might choose usted. That is his preference, not a grammatical age limit.

13:00 — A police officer

¿Le hablarías de usted a un policía? — Would you use usted with a police officer?

Answers differ. One young man says tú; another says usted if the officer approaches on good terms. One woman considers how the officer addresses her. If she approaches an officer herself, she uses usted out of respect for the job; when working alongside police officers, she uses tú. The group also jokes that an officer arriving to give her a fine is a different matter.

13:22 — A teacher

¿Le hablarías de usted a un profesor o profesora? — Would you use usted with a teacher?

It depends on age, the particular teacher and how traditional they seem. Some start with usted when they do not know the teacher, especially in early emails. One woman keeps it when the teacher uses it and the situation feels tense. Another and her long-standing English teacher use tú with each other.

13:50 — A familiar baker

¿Le hablarías de usted al panadero o panadera de tu tienda de confianza? — Would you use usted with the baker at your usual bakery?

One woman uses tú when she knows the baker. With an unfamiliar baker, she gives this example:

• ¿Me puede dar una barra de pan?Can you give me a loaf of bread?

Lucía points out that puede here uses usted agreement even though the pronoun is not spoken. Another respondent says no to usted. The young men consider age and closeness, including whether they have known their neighbourhood baker for a long time. One woman may begin with usted when a very old person uses it with her, then accidentally slip into tú, apologise, and end up using tú anyway.

14:29 — Your aunt

¿Le hablarías de usted a tu tía? — Would you use usted with your aunt?

One answer is that her family does not use usted; another says she uses tú with her aunt.

14:34 — A doctor

¿Le hablarías de usted al médico o médica? — Would you use usted with a doctor?

The young men lean towards usted; one associates doctors with older people. The other women consider what form the doctor uses, while noting a growing tendency to use tú. The interview ends with Muchísimas gracias — thank you very much.

14:53–15:09 — Lucía’s closing reflection

Lucía was surprised by her own behaviour when she recently interviewed people at a traditional Spanish festival: she kept using usted, despite not usually using it. She invites you to watch that other video, which is in slow Spanish and introduces an interesting Spanish tradition.

What to take from these answers

Tú commonly signals familiarity and usted formality or distance, but the appropriate choice varies by region, relationship, setting and personal preference. The interview is a collection of people’s experiences in Spain. A forty-year threshold, a profession or a family relationship does not create a universal rule. Both forms can be used politely; tone and behaviour matter too. RAE/ASALE notes substantial regional differences and the spread of tú into some professional relationships. Read the RAE/ASALE explanation.

If someone invites you to use tú, the interview gives you useful language for that transition: Háblame de tú. Keep the grammar consistent: tú hablas, usted habla; for standard plural agreement, vosotros habláis or ustedes hablan.